In the absence of a Guru, do exactly what you intended to do after adopting one or considering one. The Supreme Power, Bhagavati, who has inspired you and whose grace has led you to read this book, will herself bring a Guru to you when the time is right. Until then, who in this universe can forbid a child from loving their mother, calling out to her, inviting her close, or asking something from her? And even if someone does, why would a true child ever heed such words?